The Exhilaration of Traffic
Thursday, November 30th, 2006I took a long hiatus from blogging - something like 2 years. What you forget is how exciting it is to have someone actually reading your blog. I think a bunch of my recent traffic (and by “bunch” I mean about 3 people) has come from the Methoblog. The Methoblog is a cool project by Jay and Gavin - one of the things they’ve done is aggregated the feeds of the methodist-oriented blogs and displayed recent posts on a sidebar. So that got me thinking - how far would I be willing to go to get traffic? I bet some choice, inflammatory posts with catchy titles would do the trick…
So I came up with:
Given the recent discussions on authority of scripture…
“Synoptic Gospels = Mad Libs?” - Archeologists have discovered that the synoptic gospels were actually based on a early, Roman version of Mad Libs. Unfortunately, it turns out that 2000 years of Christianity were based on some Centurion’s kid’s middle school joke. Bummer.
and debate on evolution…
“Jesus a monkey’s uncle?” - Anthropologists, through some very remarkable fossil discoveries, strongly believe that at least one of Joseph and Mary’s other children actually devolved into a monkey. This startling finding throws everything modern science knows about the theory of evolution into the air. In a curious coincidence, the monkey’s name appeared to have been George.
and the LDS church…
“Mormon gold plates in Macy’s?” - The Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints has long believed that the gold plates that Joseph Smith discovered (and later translated and published as the Book of Mormon) were returned to the Angel Moroni in the 1820s. However, on Black Friday an astute shopper noticed a special at the Macy’s in Salt Lake City - a limited edition set of gold plates with some incomprehensible text. Even after she discovered that her coupon for 20% off any one purchase only applied to a single men’s handkerchief she went ahead with the purchase and now owns a fantastic LDS artifact! The spokesperson for the LDS church declined to comment on the story.
It’s tempting, but that would be wrong.